Yo mama jokes...

Post all of your best yomama jokes here!
Yo mama's so fat she needs two watches, one for each timezone she's in.
Yo mama's so fat, she looked up cheat codes for fitness games.
Yo mama's so short, that when she smokes weed she doesn't get high.

 

Your mom's so old that she has the bible with Jesus's autograph

 

Yo mamas so stupid, she stole free bread.
Yo mamas so stupid, she climbed over a window to see what was on the other side.
Yo mamas so small, she jumped off a kerb and broke her spine.

 

Yo mamas so dumb she bought tickets to see xbox live

 

Yo mama so poor when i ring her doorbell it flushes the toilet
Yo mama so poor when i walk in her front door i come out the back
You mama so stupid she sat on the tv to watch the sofa
Yo mama so stupid she put 2 coins in here ears and said she was listening to 50cent
Yo mama so poor she goes to kfc to lick other peoples fingers

 

yo mama's so fat, she walked by the tv and i missed 3 episodes
yo mama's so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and yelled "I got the power!"

 

Yo mama is fat and stupid

 

i cri

 

dunt sai tat or ill tell ur mum

 

Yo mama so stupid she clearly got all of these off of the internet

 

.-. IhysmbIsly

 

Boom chakalaka.
Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live.
Yo mama is so fat that the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.
Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "taxi!"
Yo mama is so fat and dumb that the only reason she opened her email was because she heard it contained spam.
Yo mama is so fat she threw on a sheet for Halloween and went as Antarctica.
Yo mama is so fat that she looked up cheat codes for Wii Fit
Yo mama is so fat that the only exercise she gets is when she chases the ice cream truck.
Yo mama is so fat that she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Yo mama is so fat that when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.
Yo mama is so fat that when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
Yo mama is so fat that she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing flip flops.
Yo mama is so fat that people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama is so fat that she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 seasons of Breaking Bad.
Yo mama is so fat that you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through!
Yo mama is so fat that that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean...
Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo mama is so fat that when she talks to herself, it’s a long distance call.
Yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale.
Yo mama is so fat that light bends around her.
Yo mama is so fat that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on Wal-Mart, she lowered the prices.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on an iphone, it turned into an ipad.
Yo mama is so fat that even god can't lift her spirit.
Yo mama is so fat that she gets group insurance.
Yo mama is so fat that she was zoned for commercial development.
Yo mama is so fat that she walked into the Gap and filled it.
Yo mama is so fat that she comes at you from all directions.
Yo mama is so fat that when she climbed onto a diving board at the beach, the lifeguard told your dad "sorry, you can't park here".
Yo mama is so fat that her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagen.
Yo mama is so fat that when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy’s word for it.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sings, it’s over for everybody.
Yo mama is so fat that when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton to display her picture.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was growing up she didn’t play with dolls, she played with midgets.
Yo mama is so fat that she uses two buses for roller-blades.
Yo mama's so fat she blew up the Deathstar.
Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to a buffet, she gets the group rate.
Yo mama is so fat that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
Yo mama is so fat that she broke the Stairway to Heaven.
Yo mama is so fat that she doesn’t eat with a fork, she eats with a forklift.
Yo mama is so fat that the last time the landlord saw her, he doubled the rent.
Yo mama is so fat that Weight Watchers won’t look at her.
Yo mama is so fat that the highway patrol made her wear a sign saying "Caution! Wide Turn".
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please".
Yo mama is so fat that she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama is so fat that when she gets on the scale it says "We don't do livestock".
Yo mama is so fat that when she tripped on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.
Yo mama is so fat that God couldn't light the Earth until she moved!
Yo mama is so fat that even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama is so fat that she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo mama is so fat that she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of June.
Yo mama is so fat that she could fall down and wouldn’t even know it.
Yo mama is so fat that the sign inside one restaurant says, “Maximum occupancy: 300, or Yo momma.”
Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Yo mama is so fat that she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama is so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama is so fat that she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton’s got an echo.
Yo mama is so fat that when she turns around people throw her a welcome back party.
Yo mama is so fat that her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo mama is so fat that a picture of her would fall off the wall.
Yo mama is so fat that when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet.
Yo mama is so fat that she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo mama is so fat that she could sell shade.
Yo mama is so fat that I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama is so fat that the shadow of her butt weighs 100 pounds.
Yo mama is so fat that when she’s standing on the corner police drive by and yell, “Hey, break it up.”
Yo mama is so fat that her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama is so fat that when she runs the fifty-yard dash she needs an overnight bag.
Yo mama is so fat that she can’t even fit into an AOL chat room.
Yo mama is so fat when she goes skydiving she doesn't use a parachute to land, she uses a twin-engine plane!
Yo mama is so fat MTX audio's subwoofers couldn't rattle her bones!
Yo mama is so fat her headphones are a pair of PA speakers connected to a car amplifier.
Yo mama is so fat that she doesn’t have a tailor, she has a contractor.
Yo mama is so fat that eating contests have banned her because she is unfair competition.
Yo mama is so fat that she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big.
Yo mama is so fat that she gets her toenails painted at Lucky’s Auto Body.
Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!
Yo mama is so fat that she has more Chins than a Chinese phone book!
Yo mama is so fat that she influences the tides.
Yo mama is so fat that when she plays hopscotch, she goes "New York, L.A., Chicago..."
Yo mama is so fat that NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama is so fat that they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama is so fat that she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama is so fat that at the zoo, the elephants throw HER peanuts.
Yo mama is so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.
Yo mama is so fat that she sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama is so fat that she cant reach into her back pocket.
Yo mama is so fat that she has her own gravity field.
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama is so fat that the only pictures you have of her were taken by satellite cameras.
Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a "Malcolm X" T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama is so fat that that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama is so fat that when she lays on the beach, people run around yelling Free Willy.
Yo mama is so fat that she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama is so fat that she cut her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama is so fat that she was in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.
Yo mama is so fat that she went on a light diet. As soon as it’s light she starts eating.
Yo mama is so fat that she’s half Italian, half Irish, and half American.
Yo mama is so fat that her waist size is the Equator.
Yo mama is so fat that she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama is so fat that she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama is so fat that when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock at me?"
Yo mama is so fat that we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay for her because we dressed her up as a Toyota.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama is so fat that she was cut from the cast of E.T., because she caused an eclipse when she rode the bike across the moon.
Yo mama is so fat that when you get on top of her your ears pop.
Yo mama is so fat that she got hit by a car and had to go to the hospital to have it removed.
Yo mama is so fat that she eats "Wheat Thicks".
Yo mama is so fat that we're in her right now!
Yo mama is so fat that she went to the movie theatre and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama is so fat that she has been declared a natural habitat for condors.
Yo mama is so fat that when she wants to shake someones hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama is so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

 

(definetly didnt copypaste @CheeseQuacks

 

Your mum is so old she's old

 

Your mum is sold big she dont need the internet; she's already world wild

 

Yo mama so old when I told her to act her age SHE DIED


Legit not off internet x3

 

Notice that ONE of the jokes has mama's and not mama is.

 

Yo mama so fat, she didn't fit in this joke

 

Yo mama so old, that in 3rd grade she sat next to Benjamin Frank in 3rd grade. <-------- Bad Joke

Yo mama so old , that she traded her car for gas money.

 

Yo mamas so stupid she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper

 

This mekes me cri

 

sorry minion

 

Iz ok

 

^Definitely did not get those from the Internet^

 

Bcos why not:

Yo' mama is so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

 

YOUR MOM IS SO OLD, SHE MAKES THESE OLD JOKES SEEM YOUNG


smh

 

Your mama so stupid that she didn't teach you to come up with original ideas. She taught you to plagiarise shitte jokes.

 

Just noticed that post is longer than 90% of mod apps XD

 

Yo mama is so fat that she couldn't get in the car

Yo mama is so fat that her poop didn't come out of her ass

Yo mama is so fat that she couldn't seat on the toilet seat ( NEK MINUTE BREAKS)

 

Nurd dont take my words

 

yo mamas so stupid she starved to death at a grocery store